CAN I MAKE IT UP TO MY CHILDREN?

Dear Franz,

Seventeen years ago I divorced the mother of my four children. After a heated divorce lasting several months, we agreed on things and split up legally. Throughout the proceedings my wife used my children as weapons against me, and I spent the next several years listening to insult after insult from my children, driven from their mother. Under no circumstances will I paint the picture that I was the perfect angel, but I never expected or deserved what I got from them. I've tried everything to get our relationships mended, I've really bended over backwards, but I don't seem to get the response I'd like.


Dear Reader,

Too late!

Seventeen years ago? And YOU divorced the mother of your children? And you admit that you weren't the "perfect angel?" I would have to admit that "not the perfect angel" sounds to me like it would have to mean something worse than we can ever, ever imagine.

And Reader. Children are young and impressionable. It's not hard to win their confidence. They're extremely vulnerable as well. So saying that your ex used your children as a weapon is really a very poor excuse. That just means you didn't even try. Because how difficult is it to win over a child? Not hard. Because if you weren't "the perfect angel," then you have got to remember that just remembering Birthdays and Christmas is not hardly even close to enough. You really have to go nuts on the gifts to make up for whatever it is you did. Apparently you didn't do this. You should have done that from year one, not 17 years later!

Idiot.

So what can you do now? Not much. It was your decision to begin with. But before you move on, try one last thing. Be very frank about your will. Let them know what they'll be missing if they don't want a relationship with you. If that doesn't work, why not find a new hobby or friends with similar interests. There are a million other things you can do on this earth to fill up your remaining years. Find something you enjoy doing! Even those who aren't "perfect angels" deserve that too!


And remember - if you'd like even MORE advice on children, marriage and divorce - don't forget the book: Dear Franz, Advice for Everyman from the Duke of Merzenburg - now available on Amazon.com!