Dear Franz,
A longtime friend celebrated her birthday some weeks ago. I was unable to attend her dinner party, and offered to take her out to dinner another night. The day we planned to go out, she called to cancel because of work. We rescheduled, and once again she canceled day-of because she was not feeling well.
She wants to reschedule yet again, and I do understand that her reasons for canceling were unpleasant and beyond her control. But after three weeks and two cancellations, I've lost the inclination to follow through on the original birthday dinner plan.
Am I still obligated to take her out? If not, how do I tell her that I'd still love to get together, but I won't be treating her to a birthday dinner?
You can't tell her that. But you don't have to go out if you don't want to.
What's the big deal?
Have a gift certificate sent to her. But make sure it's just enough for one person since you won't be there.
If the person is important - why not invite them onboard with you when you set sail? Give them only days notice so that they won't be able to come. But at least you offered the invitation and it's on the record!
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