Dear Readers,
I can't account for the lost time, I really cannot.
In September - I closed out the summer season in Mallorca with Princess Letitia, and by that time, I'd about had it. It was just one party after an other, and pretty soon I realized that I needed a rest. Here's how I knew:
There was to be a very schilmm party by Donatella. All her parties are, but this was the "Summer Swan". And I love going to them - usually it's no big deal. I usually find an outfit within a few days. But this time - it took me two solid weeks to find what I was going to wear. And I am talking about all day, every day for two weeks. I stood in front of the mirror for hours and hours on end... I had this sudden fear that I had gained weight. My clothes fit the same, but something was wrong. I prayed to God that perhaps I only had body dysmorphia. The summer party season can be rough with food and wine, but still - I take care of myself and never skimp on at least weekly internal baths.
Long story short - it was the day before the party and I still wasn't sure what I was going to wear. Donatella told me that she wasn't going to send me any more clothes, because she was sure there was something that I could wear. I was being "ridiculous". I didn't know what was wrong. But anyhow, an hour before the party, I was dressed. My car was waiting outside for me, and I should have been ready to go. But I wasn't. Again something was wrong. I finally said, "No. I can't." And I didn't. I didn't go. I just took off my clothes and had my new assistant (who left last week) make me a pitcher of Gin Kir. That's just gin and Kir. Love it.
Well when I finally came to, I realized that I had to call D and give my excuses. I was afraid, as she can turn into a dragon. Anyhow, she refused to take my calls. I knew I had messed it up.
And I thought. I just need a REST. I've been partying non-stop since June (I think), and I haven't had a break!
I looked into the mirror and I didn't like what I saw. My face was bloated from the gin and my eyes were red. That and I was due in TWO DAYS to have lunch with Crown Princess Mary. I couldn't possibly be up for lunch in two days, I thought. I needed to go to a spa for a while, to get my health back. But even that didn't seem all that fun. I didn't feel like it. I'd spent at least two months this year already IN SPAS...Boy, was I in a rut! I didn't know how I was going to get out of it either. I thought for hours on end, and then I remembered.
The sleep cure. How come nobody talks about sleep cures anymore? Rest cures, whatever. That drives me crazy! My mother became addicted to them, but other than that - I don't know why they're not all the rage.
Just in case you don't know, reader. A sleep cure is this: You go to a clinic. And they put you out for two weeks. Just sleep! In the meantime - you get all sorts of treatments - facials, whatever you'd like - and you don't have to put up with all the probing and prodding! In two weeks time - one loses a TREMENDOUS amount of weight, and comes out looking fresh as a daisy - younger than springtime! It's too good to be true.
Well. My assistant took FOREVER finding a doctor that would do it for me. I don't get it. Like I said - why has it gone out? People are idiots.
Anyhow - I went to Romania of all places. Never been before - why would I?
P.S. It was just fantastic. I remember waking up a few times, but it was all just a blur. And I when I woke up - My skin looked fantastic - I'd lost some weight and my eyes were crystal clear. I could see why mother was addicted!
But now I'm ready to get back to life. Ready to face the upcoming Holiday season too! I may go back for one more before it starts. The doctor said they could up the caloric intake in my feeding tube so I didn't get to thin (whatever 'too thin' is).. I may take him up on it.
In the meantime - I'm back to answer your questions and to give some good solid lifestyle and living advice. I couldn't feel or look any better than I do right now.. And even though I didn't answer any of your questions today - consider this a piece of advice: Go on a Sleep Cure! You'll thank me for it. Your bathroom scale will thank me for it too!
