Infidelity..

Dear Franz,

I had an affair with a married man for about nine months. I broke it off after finally realizing it wasn't going anywhere and he was lying to me about his intentions. Part of me wants him to feel pain for his actions. I want to contact his spouse anonymously and tell him not to trust him. Most of my friends advise against this, while a few tell me to go ahead. What do you think? -

Dear Adulterer,

I love questions about Adultery! Something about them, just brings me to life! First things first. I have to put you in your place:

1. Where did you think that the relationship was going to go? Did you think it would end well?
2. You are the homewrecker.

That being said: There are a MILLION ways you contact his spouse!

Princess Maxima and I have even thought about writing a book about it. She is really good about finding new ways. But let me give you the basics:

1. They never believe you. The first thing you must do is hire a private detective. (that must be the most fun job in the world). Get all the evidence you can. There is NOTHING in the world like seeing a smirk just disappear from someone's face, is there? I think that's one of life's "simple" pleasures.

2. Be cool about it, and have fun! You have to remember that bitterness is never attractive. Just do what you have to do, and take comfort in the fact that you have the upper hand.

3. If the marriage does break up and your lover wants you back, give it some time. You don't want to look desperate. I think desparity is as unattractive as bitterness. And remember: Once a cheater - always a cheater! Keep that private detective on your payroll.

I wish you the best. Viel Glück!

Finally as promised: A Reader's Question...

Dear Franz,
I have a wonderful mother-in-law who raised my wonderful husband. She is an absolute treasure who treats me better than my own mother. She treats my children (her son's step-children) as If they had been her grandchildren all their lives. I would never want to offend or criticize her.

The problem is that she is starting to grow quite a bit of facial hair. I'm certain that she is unaware of the different options that are available for managing this problem that comes with age. Her mother does not appear to have this problem. I've noticed that one of her 2 daughters (both equally as charming as she is) has the same problem and seems to be shaving.

I would never want to embarrass either one of them but would like to find a way to inform them of other options that might be available to them. I was thinking I might invite my sister-in-law, since she lives in the same town as I do, to join me for a "spa afternoon" of facials and pedicures. Surely during the course of the facial, the aesthetician I use will offer her options for facial hair removal. If she is pleased, she will share this information with her mother. What do you think?

Dear Woman,

What if she has no desire to remove it? What if she doesn't go along with your scheme? I think you're very kind to be subtle. But facial hair on woman is no laughing matter. Even if she doesn't feel like it's a problem - we have to look at it.

FBS (Female Beard Syndrome) is a serious, and global problem. It's one that can be fought ONLY if we stand as one against it.

Send her literature from the FBS Global Initiative. Educate her on what we all have to look at. If that doesn't work: Stand her before a mirror and hold her there until she understands. I would think that would work. And when she finally does understand - she can pass that information on to the next "bearded" woman in HER life.

See?

It all starts at home.

P.S. The Donate Your Money Foundation is part of the FBS Initiative. All donations will be received.

While I was sleeping....

Yes two things, that I've been asked while I was sleeping.

1. YES I can't believe it either: I COMPLETELY slept through the wedding of Princess Annemarie Gualtherie van Weezel and Prince Carlos de Bourbon de Parme's nuptials at Brussel's Abbaye de la Cambre!


2. The British Royal Engagement. I already knew about it! Did I not write anything? Well. Sorry. I shouldn't always be the Wikileaks of European Royalty as it is!

So, since I don't have any personal photos from the Belgian Royal Wedding. Princess Maxima of the Netherlands wanted me to post this one of her. I have no idea why - but she asked me to. Get your own website Maxi! Just kidding!

Sleep Cure II

I believe the last time I wrote I said that I couldn't account for the lost time. Well, this time I can.

I have been in bed for weeks! It's been great. A number of factors played in to this decision. Normally when the weather starts to get cold, like everyone else, I go in to a crippling depression until I arrive in Bora Bora. I mean, I know that not everyone goes to Bora Bora when it's cold. Many people go to South America, I know that. However, I thought to myself: Why don't I shake things up a bit, and just stay in bed? Well, I might have done it out of spite too.

I feel like I was the subject of an intervention. But it was just lunch at the Ritz with Donatella Versace and Isabelle Huppert. They both told me that they thought I was becoming addicted to Spas and Cures. Since when was going to a Spa for a month to get your health back, unhealthy? I give up, I thought. Because I was planning on doing this treatment at a new Spa in Bora Bora last month. And I thought - well, you know what? I'm just going to stay here in Paris. And that's what I've done. Except that I'm in Berlin (I just had to look out the window). And that lunch was at the Hotel de Rome, not the Ritz.

But if you hadn't done it before, I would highly recommend it. I kind of did my own "do it yourself" sleep cure - just with my own sleeping pills! I hadn't thought of that before! But one month later, I'd had enough, and decided to get out of bed. That was last week or so. I've still been in bed this last week, but I've to the sitting room to look out the window a couple times. Or rather, that was just a moment ago.

So now I'm ready for the winter! And I'm going to get back to answering all of those questions from you, my dear readers. I know there are millions of you that count on my advice, so I'm not going to let you down. EVERY DAY I will answer your questions. Remember: There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people.