Dear Franz,
My daughter got engaged at Christmas to a military fellow. They were to have a spring 2012 wedding, but chose to elope in May before he deployed.
Now she wants to have a vow renewal ceremony and celebration with all the trimmings. I have no problem with a vow renewal, but I take issue with a wedding gown, bridesmaids, bachelorette/bachelor parties or even bridal showers.
The biggest issue is that she and her husband now live 13 hours from both families. But they want this “event” to take place in their home town where, yes, his Army buddies are, so they can do this “sword” ceremony. This feels like just a big, expensive show for their friends, given that little family can attend. My contention is that if family is truly important, the “event” will take place in her home town, and friends can make the trip. I am losing lots of sleep over this.
Don't lose sleep over it. You're daughter is stupid and tacky, yes. But just don't have anything to do with and act like it isn't happening. If your daughter wants you to be there - make sure you have a vacation planned for the same time. That should take care of that. If you have friends that you think will find out about this tacky event - why not invite them on your vacation? It sounds like a great time to charter a yacht if you don't have one.
And if you're daughter presses you as to why you want nothing to do with it - make sure to tell her about herself. Don't lose sleep. Losing sleep is almost never worth it.
Remember that it's not your opinion or mine that what she wants to do is tacky. It's just a fact. A fact that we can't change. We didn't write the rules!
However. I don't like that you don't have a problem with a "vow renewal."
"Vow renewals" where other people are coerced to attend is the apex of egotism. Nobody cares about that nonsense - nobody but the couple - and they pretend that other people want to take time out of there busy schedules to watch them pamper their egos. I don't care how much champagne is involved - it's dumb! Every night we must chose which party to go to. Why should we go to one where we have to sit through something like that?
It's really trying that people are so egotistical isn't it? It's something that I have to deal with almost everyday - reading these questions. But I'm glad I do it. I'm glad I do my little part to help society. And yes - I do feel like I'm trying to empty the ocean with a tea spoon - but I carry on!
What would you do without me?
Don't forget I have all sorts of advice on love and marriage and weddings and all the stuff! It's my eBook available on Amazon!
No comments:
Post a Comment