What Not to Wear

Dear Franz,

Recently I was at a party and was humiliated to find out that someone else was wearing the same dress as I. They'd even bought it at the same store. I was devastated. Actually I've been in bed for weeks now. I know ready-to-wear can be "risky", but sometimes it's not avoidable. I'd like to know if you have any advice from buying clothing in "shops" and "department stores".

Dear Reader,

Yes, ready-to-wear is always risky business: You are always taking the chance of wearing the same thing as someone else. Recently in London, an old friend asked me if we were wearing the same suit! (People have nerves). He didn't believe me until I opened my jacket and showed him that the custom lining was the same material as my custom tie! Try buying THAT on Bond Street, asshole!

But I guess not everybody can really afford to have everything made for them. That's why "stores" for "shopping" is quite a huge industry.

There are many things that one can buy manufactured and feel good about:

1. Shoes. I personally don't buy shoes already made, but many people do. Many people like particular "brands" of shoes, and they can be had for as little as 500 USD, I think.
2. Socks. I personally find that there isn't really much of a difference between custom made and ready-to-wear socks.

I guess that's about it though. Anything else is a risk. Hard, honest advice: but the truth.

I know how you feel. Let me tell you a story about that. I don't know if it will help.

At the Met Gala on Monday, there was a Hollywood personality there. In my opinion you cannot call her a star. She is, however in movies. And as it seems, anybody can get into anywhere nowadays! LOL... Anyway, I was talking with Anna Wintour and I noticed she seemed to be gagging behind her handkerchief (orange Hermes- schön). I asked her what was wrong and she said that what this girl was wearing a dress that has been in stores since last year! At the Met Gala! Anna was visibly shaken. Like I said, I really don't know what the Met Gala is or why I was there, but apparently it's an important fashion event.

Does that help?

And there's a last bit of advice I'd like to give before the letters arrive. I can just hear them being read to me now: "But I can't afford that.." Well. To all you housewives out there who are about to write to me, let me give you a little tip. Save your allowances. Make sure to siphon what you can into your own personal and private accounts away from your husband. O! And make sure your lawyer negotiates the best allowance from your husband or father!

Now, get out of bed and get over it, please!