Can a Sexless Marriage Be Worth It?

Dear Franz,

How important do you think sexual attraction is in a marriage? A friend is considering getting engaged to a man she thinks is perfect except that she is not very physically attracted to him. She is in her 30s and feels like he is the best man she has ever met, but she is worried she’ll end up with a sexless marriage.

I believe she feels that if she doesn’t marry him, she won’t meet anyone as good as he is in time to have children. I don’t really know what to say.

Dear Reader,

I love it how you are acting like you are asking a question for a friend.

But sexual attraction is not important in a marriage. My mother was married several times and I believe, never attracted to her husbands. I am told by my father that she used "Pepe" a lounge singer from Portugal for what she called "bedroom purposes". Though she was never attracted to many of her husbands, each marriage was very financially successful and she always benefited immensely. And although she was a horrible, horrible, horrible person, she was a smart woman and always made good business decisions.

You or "Your friend" doesn't have to worry about a "sexless marriage". She needs to remember that she can do whatever she'd likes for "bedroom purposes". There was a little thing in the 1960s called Women's Lib, and maybe's heard about it? And I've written before about how to manage an affair, perhaps your friend should read it. (main point: don't get knocked up, social diseases are grounds for divorce...)

But I don't know about the potential spouse's financial situation so I can't officially say: go for it. Only you know. If you're not all that attracted to him and his financial holdings don't compensate, don't feel bad: just say NEXT!

And as a last bit of encouragement, let me tell you a story. I know a woman who married a man over fifty years older than she was. Everybody thought, "Ewww". One thinks, one should only go so far. Well, let me tell you: Her husband was in his eighties and he died less than one year into the marriage. He had billions, and as you can imagine there were hundreds of girls kicking themselves for not submitting to his elderly advances when they had the chance.

So make an informed decision: weigh the benefits. And please, hold the line: Don't forget the Pre-nup!