TODAY!

Dear Readers,

A couple of things you've been screaming at me to address:

No I wasn't at Ascot this year! People have been looking for pictures of me, but they don't exist! I just forgot about it. I've been so busy planning my party today, that I forgot.

I don't go every year either. Oftentimes I forget even without a reason! Does that ever happen to you? You decide to stay in bed all week with a little champagne - then you wake up and someone tells you that you've missed absolutely everything! Haha.....

But of course I haven't been sleeping as you know. I've been preparing, just for YOU! Yes, my book release party is tonight and I've told you that I've hired eight ships to parade down the river Spree this evening! It should be grand. I cannot wait.

The only thing left to rely on right now is that the Lord Jesus Christ makes the clouds disappear for the event! I want some sunshine! So Heilige Maria - BVM! If you're reading this - which I know you are! Please intercede for my event! Natürlich you both are invited as well.

Come rain or shine, I'll be sure to have pictures put online of this event! Of course. And one more thing - let's make sure that my assistant Max stays employed at least over the next couple weeks. I cannot go without someone during this time - and he seems like he's on the verge of saying "Tschußi" to me.

Other than that - I haven't eaten this week, so I'm rather weak and need to take my nap now. But don't worry - when I wake up I'm going to TEAR UP some foie gras and deviled eggs! I need to strengthen myself for the party! There's a LOT of Champagne to go through and I can't wait!!