DISGRACED WOMAN MUST BEG FOR FORGIVENESS

Dear Franz,

My friend, "Katherine," had been unhappily married for several years, met a man in a bar and began having a casual affair with him. She was not very discreet about it - carrying condoms in her purse and leaving her BlackBerry out with e-mails from the man on it. Her husband found out and left her.

They are now going through a difficult divorce. Her ex does not want to help her out financially - he has a high-paying job and she makes very little - they have a young son who is having a terrible time dealing with it, and she is literally falling apart. She has always been overly thin, suggesting an eating disorder, and now she is much more so. She is also taking a ton of anti-anxiety medication.

She is heavily leaning on me for help, and I (a) don't know how to help her and (b) have some anger toward her for putting herself in this situation. I told her the affair was a really bad idea and that she could not financially or emotionally afford divorce.

Dear Reader,

If she didn't have a child, she could probably find another man, possibly with an even larger income. But coupled with the fact that she met the man in a bar, it really makes her even more unmarketable. Be that as it may, I have some advice:

1. Beg him to take her back. Even if she doesn't mean it and it's humiliating for her - it's the only thing she can do to save herself financially.
2. Go to spa for a couple of months. That should relieve some of the stress and give the impression that she is trying to get her act together.
3. WHEN they are back together, she needs to better utilise his salary and make sure she makes some investments of her own. (Perhaps she suffers from nymphomania and will start screwing around again - one never knows - cover all bases!)

I think the most important lesson here is the importance of a pre-nuptial agreement. If she would've invested in a good lawyer before the wedding, none of this would be a problem.

But the one silver lining is your friend's dramatic weight loss. Many people gain enormous amounts of weight during times of stress so she should really consider herself lucky. A temporary "pick up" for your friend would be a new wardrobe for her stunningly slim new figure. Assuming they are still married, her husband is still responsible for any debt that accrues, so tell her to spend what she wants - to do something good for herself.

Well.... I consider that another marriage saved. It really is a wonderful feeling to help!