I Have a New Assistant!

Dear Reader,

I just mentioned my assistant in my previous bit of advice. I may or may not have mentioned the number of assistants that I've had in the last (I don't know how many) few years. I have tried every race, sex and religion - and I tell you: I sure get the losers from everywhere! Yes, I may have high standards that may be "difficult", but I think those high standards are really my hallmark. Someone said that I should write a book on all of the assistants I've had, and I thought "yes!". My stories are always a hit at parties. I had the Human Resources pulled on every one of them to start the research process. And then I realized: I didn't remember anything about any one them! I couldn't put the names with the faces. Except the Chinese boy and the African-American woman. I usually try to come up with my own names for them anyway - and those weren't in the files. I think I called the black woman Mahogany and the Chinese Boy, Pierre. Oh, how people would laugh when I'd introduce him! Good times.....

But I did want to give a "shout out" to my new assistant that I've named "Gretl". We seem to be getting along fine I think. Now that she's quicker to respond to her new name. She went to college for something, she knows all the computer programs and we can speak German together in front of other people don't. She's quite homely, which is good; since I like her so far, I don't want her running off and getting married anytime soon! So readers, wish me luck with this one. And maybe I could use some advice myself on how to keep an assistant! (Just kidding - don't send - won't read!)

And Gretl, when you are finished correcting this you can fix yourself a Dr. Pepper or something. I'll need your help getting out of the sauna. Listen for the buzzer, and I'd like a Campari with soda when I get out. (Don't include this).