Our Tax Dollars at Work

Dear Franz,

Recently, while waiting in line at the supermarket, I overheard someone make a mean spirited comment about the contents of my cart. I thought it was rude, and so I said "f*** you" (to no one in particular, just in hopes that whoever said that would hear it). What should I have done to respond to such rudeness?

Dear Shopper,

How else will you learn that everyone is judging you by the contents of your shopping cart? I hate "going to the grocery" more than anyone - (could it be more embarrassing?) - and one reason is because seeing the food combinations in the shopping carts! I imagine that cashiers really have to try not to gag sometimes. Once I even asked one, "How did you not gag just then when you had to scan that combination of.... food? All that Wonder Bread!". The woman just shrugged. I felt so sorry for her. 

Since then (I have had to "go to the grocery" several times over the last year), I've realized that people with the most disgusting carts (Coke, boxes of frozen macaroni and cheese, and Funyuns) - almost always paying with cards that have no credit card logos. And reader, "THESE ARE MODERN DAY FOOD STAMPS!"  Yes. Food stamps are no longer in stamp form. At first I would always assume these people would be the ones to (still) whip out their check books, but no..... They all use the same red, white and blue cards - that are actually food stamps. And because it is legal to buy Coke and Funyuns with food stamps (It is NOT punishable by law), I urge everyone everywhere (especially the cashiers out there), to please make eye contact and glare at these people. Glare as you've never glared before! Until buying junk food is punishable by law, or tar and feathering, all we can do is glare (and mutter, "would you look at that...." under your breath.)

So to answer your question. There is nothing you can do. Buy better food. Learn to shop the periphery of the supermarket. And if you are shopping for a party (still), or some other justifiable reason, and there's a lot of junk in your cart, by all means - explain that to the person behind you in line. It's called open dialogue - it's what the world needs more of!