The Von Merzenburg Fund for New Initiatives

Monday, November 21, 2011

REMEMBER YOUR SPIRIT


Dear Franz,

What are your tips on becoming a more spiritual/centered person? What are your views on religion? I'm really wanting to join a church or become spiritual, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it...


Dear Reader,

I think that's a question that people often wonder about me but never ask. How am I such a centered, spiritual person?

Well, let me tell you - it's something I strive for: to be the most spiritual person I can be. I also strive to be more spiritual than other people - so perhaps that's why I come across as so spiritual. Some may even say holy. I mean - I would never say that about myself, it's just that I think that other people might say that.

But how to I achieve this? Let me tell you bluntly that it's not easy. And not everyone can do it.

First it takes quite a bit of money. I have my foundation and I give a lot to the church. Catholic, please! No substitutes. For over 500 YEARS there have been a lot of stupid idiots that have tried to "improve" the church, but have failed to do so. I think the biggest idiot (and asshole) was Martin Luther. He decided that the Catholic Church was not good enough for him and he practically ruined everything. First there was one protestant church, and now there are thousands.

In America these churches are everywhere. There's even a woman there running for president who handles snake and speaks in tongues!

But be that as it may, the first thing to do is give a lot of money to your church (Catholic). If there is ANY opportunity to repair something like a roof or a one story crucifix - pay for it and have a plaque made with your relief on it, letting everyone know what you've done. It'll just make you feel better.

I think the most important part of my spirituality is my attendance at mass - every single day. A lot of people don't believe me. But I must admit I have a little trick, but it's not against the rules - I checked!

Every morning in my bedroom, a priest says mass for me. And though I may not be awake, I AM present. And the rule for communion is once a year, so I only have to wake up once a year, and I don't consider that too much of an imposition. Not for MY immortal soul. Other people may find that too much, but - I do it. I offer it up. Actually, I probably do it more than once a year, because I find that His precious blood does wonder for a hangover (or A.I. disease).

Other than that, I collect antiquities, many of them religious. I also collect French iconography from (ca.) the 12th - 13th centuries. I think that does a lot. I mean, I could collect abstract expressionism, but I chose to have this spiritual theme.

Why not try these tips to help YOU become a more spiritual/centered person?

Just do not go to a protestant church. It's not worth it. They may try to brainwash you, but more than that - it's not worth your immortal soul..

Speaking of your immortal soul. My book "Dear Franz" is available on iTunes for your little iPads and iPhones. And it's available for your little Kindle as well on Amazon.com

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