NO MORE HUGS!

Dear Franz,

I adore my husband and our two young children, but I am at a loss as to how to see my husband’s love and affection as anything other than yet another demand for my time and energy. He is loving, affectionate, kind, passionate but when he comes to give me a hug or anything along those lines (whether it’s JUST a hug, or a hopeful lead-in to something else), I think, “Go the hell away and take care of yourself.” What is wrong with me? My head knows he is fabulous in every way.


I wouldn't say that there's anything particularly wrong with you. I imagine, like me - most people are mystified by the act of "hugging." Why do it? Who started such a stupid thing?

Personally, I can't stand it - "hugging." I imagine most people feel like I do. When someone wants to grab you and put their arms around you, who likes that? It's like being strangled or suffocated. You just want to scream and gasp for air!

Nobody likes that! Am I right?

But in your case, it may be different. Since you are complaining about "hugs" from your husband and not your children - it may be your husband who's suffocating you figuratively. And when he moves in with his big arms like a giant octopus - it reminds me you of how he represses you and tries to suffocate your hopes and your dreams.

Can I be on the right path?

You may be in the midst of a power struggle at the moment - and you may be losing! Try to gain some ground, if you can. Find his weak spots and expose them. It would be better for you if your husband was the one who feared your advancing claw arms - and not the other way around.

In the meantime, have a talk with him. Tell him how hugging disturbs you. Make sure he knows that you're not alone and that most people can't stand that nonsense. If we, as a society want to see an end to people grabbing and suffocating each other - then we need to start in our homes.




P.S. Don't forget to buy "Dear Franz" the Book - now available on iTunes! Or, for your little Kindles, you buy them here on Amazon!