SHE DROPPED HIM LIKE A HOT POTATO!

Dear Franz,

I met a girl, we hit it off immediately the night we met. Things went great for a month. She would say things like, “I really like you.” We both willingly supplied information about our exes, including that I still own a home with mine (I was not living there).

New girl and I spent a lot of time together, including holidays. After that, all of a sudden she wants to break up. “You’re a great guy, but I still have feelings for my ex.”

I was crushed but was getting over it. Lately though, for months, she’s all I think about. I’ve contacted her here and there just to say hi. Sometimes she responds, others not, and she has told me she has a boyfriend.

I can’t help feeling, though, that it was because I still had connections to my ex (just financial), and that maybe she was waiting for me to get my act together. I still have tremendous feelings for her and I think these feelings have grown in our time apart.

How can I find out if there is still a chance between us without playing the “stalker” role? Or should I just let it go? How can things go from white-hot to code blue in just a matter of days?


Too late!

You mentioned the holidays: no one wants to be alone during the holidays. That's why she found YOU. At the very least, you too were able to spend the holidays not alone. That's nice isn't it?

Also, the reason she was with you, was to make her ex feel jealous - to let him know that she could find somebody else if she needed to. And she could - and she did!

So that's how it can go from white hot to code blue in a matter of days. Or at least one example...

Also, you seem to be very sheltered and not very savvy about the ways of love. So I wouldn't recommend getting in a relationship anytime soon. Have as many of these short little affairs that you can, to get yourself used to how people really "work." And then - when you've found that special someone, so won't be so naive and clueless. That's the worst!

And remember - don't be needy!

And if you want - while you're looking for that next date - why not have her new boyfriend followed? just for the fun of it! You may find some interesting information you can give this young lady, and perhaps she'll come back to you!



And P.S. Don't forget about the book, "Dear Franz" now on iTunes - and for your little Kindles!

NO MORE HUGS!

Dear Franz,

I adore my husband and our two young children, but I am at a loss as to how to see my husband’s love and affection as anything other than yet another demand for my time and energy. He is loving, affectionate, kind, passionate but when he comes to give me a hug or anything along those lines (whether it’s JUST a hug, or a hopeful lead-in to something else), I think, “Go the hell away and take care of yourself.” What is wrong with me? My head knows he is fabulous in every way.


I wouldn't say that there's anything particularly wrong with you. I imagine, like me - most people are mystified by the act of "hugging." Why do it? Who started such a stupid thing?

Personally, I can't stand it - "hugging." I imagine most people feel like I do. When someone wants to grab you and put their arms around you, who likes that? It's like being strangled or suffocated. You just want to scream and gasp for air!

Nobody likes that! Am I right?

But in your case, it may be different. Since you are complaining about "hugs" from your husband and not your children - it may be your husband who's suffocating you figuratively. And when he moves in with his big arms like a giant octopus - it reminds me you of how he represses you and tries to suffocate your hopes and your dreams.

Can I be on the right path?

You may be in the midst of a power struggle at the moment - and you may be losing! Try to gain some ground, if you can. Find his weak spots and expose them. It would be better for you if your husband was the one who feared your advancing claw arms - and not the other way around.

In the meantime, have a talk with him. Tell him how hugging disturbs you. Make sure he knows that you're not alone and that most people can't stand that nonsense. If we, as a society want to see an end to people grabbing and suffocating each other - then we need to start in our homes.




P.S. Don't forget to buy "Dear Franz" the Book - now available on iTunes! Or, for your little Kindles, you buy them here on Amazon!