Happy? St. Patrick's Day

Dear Franz,

I was invited to a "St. Patrick's" party, and I was appalled. I am not Irish, and do NOT look it whatsoever. How do I let this person know that I don't appreciate being thought of as someone who celebrates anything Irish? 

Dear Reader, 

You can't. But if you're like me, you will call PBS and ask for a refund on your donation unless you receive a written promise that they will never ever show anything like that "Celtic Woman" again. That was just heart stopping. 

But be sympathetic. That is the most important thing. You have to be thankful that you are who you are. Can you imagine nearly starving to death because you thought that the only thing humans could eat were potatoes? That's what brought most of them here. An entire race of people, living on an island, surrounded by fish, and they thought all that they could eat were potatoes. And when the potatoes went bad, they truly believed that they had to travel thousands of miles across an ocean to find potatoes in the new world.  They now call this "the potato famine". 

Once they were here, they had uncontrollable amounts of children, appeared always to be drunk, and fought endlessly. Even after finding all the potatoes they could eat. I hate to print this, but this is something that can be verified by countless political cartoons from the late 19th century. 

Anyhow, just remember that tolerance is the key here. Jesus asked to care for the least among us, and during this lenten season, that's something we should not forget!