IT WAS AN UNPLANNED VACATION!

To all my Readers,

I apologize for being gone for the last several weeks. But you know how it is with me!

You're at a party, and next thing you know you're on private jet to Tunisia! The weather turns out to be wonderful and you end up staying for much longer than intended. In my case it was weeks. I'm not sure. How long was it?

Good thing I felt like going shopping in Paris or else I would still be laying out in the sun!

In any case, I just assumed that my assistant would have the brains to take care of what I wasn't, but unfortunately: that just wasn't the case. At some point they'd quit and I didn't know it it. Is that sickening? And yes - I COULD really use the positive thoughts and prayers from all of you - that I know are coming anyway - just so that MAYBE I can find someone to work for me that isn't completely mentally incapacitated. I don't know anybody who has to go through this except me!

So, in the meantime - I'll be on the search again for a new "helper."

I've never asked for reader help before - but if any of you know of anything to help me out, then I would appreciate it. I've told you before - I thought I've tried every race, color and creed of human - but still, I come up with nothing!

In the meantime, I've employed my cook to help me, since I'm fasting at the moment. He thought he could take vacation and I told him, "Not so fast stupid!" So all of your new and awaiting questions will be answered shortly. The minute we feel like it!

Talk to you all very soon!


P.S. Don't forget to buy "Dear Franz" the Book - now available on iTunes! Or, for your little Kindles, you buy them here on Amazon!

FERTILITY, STOLEN BABY NAMES

Dear Franz,

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over two years. I feel like my life is in a holding pattern. We’ll be starting IVF soon. Already tried some other high-tech procedures. I can’t plan a vacation or commit to anything long-term outside of work because “soon I might be pregnant.”

After living my life like this for two years, I am getting really tired of it. We really want a child. I’m 35, so I don’t feel like we can take a break. Any advice? This stinks. Oh — also, almost all of my friends are currently expecting their second children. And my brother and sister-in-law gave their child the name we’d always wanted to name ours. How to move past this? Or through it? Or something?


The best advice for you is this: Forget about "having a baby" or whatever - and do something else! Obviously you're not having a good time - why not do something fun?

But if you really can't get past the desire to have a baby - try holding off. Perhaps adopt a child or two when you're older and there's less to do - less to fill your days. Right now, you're in your thirties. It should be the best time of your life. Why do you want to be anchored down?

And if you really, really, really just have to have a baby (i.e. are obsessed) - then why not combine the fertility treatments with a vacation? You are aware that they have doctors in almost every part of the world? From Majorca to Tahiti!

And about your relative stealing your baby name. Don't worry about it. If you ever do have that baby - just use the name anyway. But make sure to spread the word that your relatives stole that name from you - and that your child is "the real Winthrop Witherspoon" or whatever.


Make sure to buy the eBook, available on Amazon: Dear Franz, Advice for Everyman from the Duke of Merzenburg! UPDATE: It's soon to be available on iTunes, Sony and Barnes & Noble... I'm not sure what all this means, but if it has meaning to you - make sure to buy it!