YOU MUSN'T SAY 'THANK YOU' YOURSELF!

Dear Franz,

My Husband does not write anybody any time for anything. I gave him a 53rd birthday party with 30 guests attending and wonderful gifts. He refuses to write them thank you cards and said if I want to send them do it myself!!!

Please help... Should I write them and sign his name? I really so feel like it is not my responsibility. Not my birthday, not my gifts??? I need your omnipotent knowledge! We have been married 18 months!



As far as I'm concerned, your husband's secretary should be taking care of that mess. I've never written a thank you card personally, but they're always received!

I asked for an example of my "thank you" notes, and it turns out I have different ones for different things. One for "gifts" and one for "donations in my name." I think that's it. But it's written in third person in both German AND English, "The Duke of Merzebnurg thanks you for his gift.." Blah blah blah.. I don't think anybody actually reads them, but it's the thought that counts.

So why not have your printer have some engraved in the third person and neither you nor your husband will have to worry about it.

One special touch people enjoy (or rather I assume they enjoy) is when a personal photograph is added to the note - for example, a photo of your last portrait. It's something they can treasure and it makes them feel special - a special "treat" for their gift they've given.

IT'S HERE!

Applause for me!


It's here:

That's right. My new book is available now for YOU, the reader - and it's on Amazon. It's ready for your Kindle or iPad or whatever! Who cares as long as you buy it and learn from it. That's what's important.

My goal now is this: to sell 2,000,000 copies by August 1st!

If everyone tells 1000 friends - then together we'll reach this goal before we know it! Won't that be fun?

I just know it will be. So don't forget to tell your 1000 friends and buy it today! I look forward to hearing your reaction too. My new assistant Ute is already busy getting your letters together for a sequel. But we'll see first... I need to go on a couple of Sleep Cures before I even think about doing that. But I can't ignore your cries for help forever - so... We'll see...

In the meantime! I'll see YOU at Amazon.com!

Don't Blow it Up!

Dear Franz,

When at a public restroom and the person in the stall next to you receives a call, what should one do when finished with one’s “business?”

Wait to flush until the call finishes or flush and have her caller know where she is receiving the call? It’s a dilemma.

No, no it's not. In fact, that's one of the stupidest questions I've yet received. Yet, I'll answer it. In the first place, I'd like to make it known that I don't use public restrooms. But I would imagine that the general rule is "See no evil, hear no evil". That means every one ignores everything one sees or hears. When Queen Maraguerite emerges from a bathroom with a cloud of cigarette smoke, no one sees it. When three or more people emerge from a bathroom stall, we don't see it. Yes, we know they weren't all relieving themselves together, but it's nothing to concern yourself with. When Princess Letizia is (often) heard upchucking an entire seven course meal, we don't hear it.

I think think that's always been the custom, and that's the way things should stay. So do what you want, make all the noise you want - unless (!) it has to do with your bowels. If you think that you'll have to make a "big business": summon your assistant or whoever to call your driver and get yourself out of there. I hate to be graphic, but I think a lot of people share that concern. How many times have you been squeezed in a bathroom stall with friends, only to have the person next door "blow it up"? It's just rude!