IS SHE TOO ATTACHED TO HER DOGS?

Dear Franz,

I am 69. I have four children, seven grandchildren and one great-grandchild. Although I love them all, my first family is grown and moved on from my day-to-day life. My new life includes two “girls,” both yellow Labradors.

They each have a vocabulary of about 200 words. They know when I am happy, sad or mad. They learned to sneak up on the foot of my bed without disturbing me. It’s their home, too. Brandy and Duchess are part of my family; it is not a joke. Those who think it is have never known the unconditional love a canine can have for its owner, or the owner for his or her companion. I would suggest that doubters have a little more compassion for those who find comfort in a life form that, if treated with love and kindness, is incapable of betrayal, and is always at the door to meet you.


Ok. First of all, I have to say that this letter is about the saddest I've ever gotten! Wow!

You're not even asking me a question, just telling me that about your dogs! And I'm not pointing this out to be mean to you. I'm really not. Obviously I'm here to help.

And since I'm here to help you - then I need to bring you back to earth! Nobody is trying to take away Brandy and Duchess from you, OK? I know you're a little old, and you don't have much to think about. This means that your mind wanders and you come up with crazy scenarios that aren't true.

Am I right? What else do you have to do as the hours pass slowly by you?

Just know that most people just don't care about your relationship with Brandy and Duchess. It's not that they think it's a joke, or don't believe that these dogs talk to you (which they don't), it's just that they don't care.

You see?

I know this from experience, too - and I'm neither old, bored OR senile. I've come to terms with the fact that Lulu isn't automatically treated with the same respect as I am. But I just have to take extra steps to make that happen. I make sure that Lulu hosts a party once or twice a year, to ensure that she in turn gets invitations to parties herself. Little things like that. I just don't go writing to strangers and complaining about it.

And one more thing. I don't know how okay it is that you're soooo attached to Brandy and Duchess. The reason being, I'm not sure how loyal big dogs are. Little dogs are devoted and loyal and part of the family for life. Big dogs seem like they might run away if given the chance. So if that happens, I'm afraid you may be crushed - so be a little more guarded than you are, ok?

CUT FROM THE WILL? WHO'S FAULT IS IT?

Dear Franz,

When my grandfather died, he disinherited my father and left everything to Dad’s younger brother. There really wasn’t any money involved, just possessions. My uncle gave Dad nothing, not even a photograph! When my father died 10 years after my mother passed away, he left everything to my older sister. There was money involved and everything my parents owned, including many items from my mother’s family. My sister shared nothing with me . . . again, not even a photograph.....


Boo hoo hoo.....
:)


I hate it when people act stupid on purpose. Please don't play dumb.

Nobody disinherits someone else without a reason. That's all there is to it.

It sounds to me like it's pretty simple: You pissed off your father. Your father pissed off your grandfather. Like father like daughter. And why are you whining about photographs? Do you really want a specific photograph? Ask your sister for a copy. She has everything. Surely she won't begrudge you that.

But honestly. You don't want a photograph. You're just trying to act like you've been wounded. When you say photograph, we all know that you're thinking about a certain Miro painting or an Andy Warhol silkscreen you've always had your heart set on....

"Not even a photograph..."

O, please! In German, we would say you were "unverschämt." You're unverschämt!

Just let that be a lesson to you. I don't know who's left in your family, or if you're in line for anything else. But remember to treat those who may be in the position to will you something - treat them with kindness. Especially if it's crucial for your financial survival. It may be humiliating but, that may be the position your in..... Sorry.

In summary, my advice to you is to quit the whining. Realize your mistakes. Know that you haven't been a pleasant person, otherwise your father would have left you in his will. Or perhaps, left you "a photograph." Haha! It sounds like your sister is the one you need to start being nice too, right?

If you choose not to start being more pleasant, then I do have one last thing you can do: Start having copies made of the photographs you'd like to have, that way you won't be disappointed when other relatives leave you nothing..




P.S. Don't forget to buy "Dear Franz" the Book - now available on iTunes! Or, for your little Kindles, you buy them here on Amazon!

MY COUSIN'S WIFE IS REALLY MEAN!

Dear Franz,

Surely your family has endured a seemingly lovely gal who marries in to your family, is embraced and loved, and turns into a psycho raving monster within a year or so of the nuptials?

My cousin’s wife is this person, and her treatment of my aunt (her mother-in-law) is so awful it is painful to watch. Her most recent performance had numerous family members in tears. My aunt puts on a brave front, prays about it, and bites her tongue so she is not denied any more (ridiculously limited) time with her only grandson.

I’d like to approach my cousin with what we witnessed and basically ask him if he hasn’t the spine to keep his wife from treating his mother so badly. Any suggestions on how to phrase it a bit more politely?


O... I would love to see this!

You haven't given any details, so I can't be sure what to really think. Your cousin's wife (I guess you're a close family to care about your cousin's wife) - she may be just what the doctor ordered. Perhaps your cousin is having the time of his life watching this. Have you ever given that a thought? Perhaps his wife is saying things that should have been said for years and years and years! This could be a joy for him - something that you shouldn't want to take away.

One big thing is - you really don't know how your aunt treated her family in private - so minding your own business could be another option.

But your cousin's wife seems like a really fun person - why not invite her to lunch and get the gory details yourself? That sounds like a lot more fun then trying to stir things up with your cousin. Make sure to pretend that you're on her side. It may give you a lot of insight to the situation. Perhaps you'll see things from a different point of view.

But be careful if you invite this woman out for lunch! It sounds like she's pretty witty - so be prepared and have some zingers of your own prepared in case she insults you.

In any case - good luck. And have fun learning more about your family!


And don't forget about there's more advice in my eBook - available today on Amazon.com!