Don't Blow it Up!

Dear Franz,

When at a public restroom and the person in the stall next to you receives a call, what should one do when finished with one’s “business?”

Wait to flush until the call finishes or flush and have her caller know where she is receiving the call? It’s a dilemma.

No, no it's not. In fact, that's one of the stupidest questions I've yet received. Yet, I'll answer it. In the first place, I'd like to make it known that I don't use public restrooms. But I would imagine that the general rule is "See no evil, hear no evil". That means every one ignores everything one sees or hears. When Queen Maraguerite emerges from a bathroom with a cloud of cigarette smoke, no one sees it. When three or more people emerge from a bathroom stall, we don't see it. Yes, we know they weren't all relieving themselves together, but it's nothing to concern yourself with. When Princess Letizia is (often) heard upchucking an entire seven course meal, we don't hear it.

I think think that's always been the custom, and that's the way things should stay. So do what you want, make all the noise you want - unless (!) it has to do with your bowels. If you think that you'll have to make a "big business": summon your assistant or whoever to call your driver and get yourself out of there. I hate to be graphic, but I think a lot of people share that concern. How many times have you been squeezed in a bathroom stall with friends, only to have the person next door "blow it up"? It's just rude!