CUT FROM THE WILL? WHO'S FAULT IS IT?

Dear Franz,

When my grandfather died, he disinherited my father and left everything to Dad’s younger brother. There really wasn’t any money involved, just possessions. My uncle gave Dad nothing, not even a photograph! When my father died 10 years after my mother passed away, he left everything to my older sister. There was money involved and everything my parents owned, including many items from my mother’s family. My sister shared nothing with me . . . again, not even a photograph.....


Boo hoo hoo.....
:)


I hate it when people act stupid on purpose. Please don't play dumb.

Nobody disinherits someone else without a reason. That's all there is to it.

It sounds to me like it's pretty simple: You pissed off your father. Your father pissed off your grandfather. Like father like daughter. And why are you whining about photographs? Do you really want a specific photograph? Ask your sister for a copy. She has everything. Surely she won't begrudge you that.

But honestly. You don't want a photograph. You're just trying to act like you've been wounded. When you say photograph, we all know that you're thinking about a certain Miro painting or an Andy Warhol silkscreen you've always had your heart set on....

"Not even a photograph..."

O, please! In German, we would say you were "unverschämt." You're unverschämt!

Just let that be a lesson to you. I don't know who's left in your family, or if you're in line for anything else. But remember to treat those who may be in the position to will you something - treat them with kindness. Especially if it's crucial for your financial survival. It may be humiliating but, that may be the position your in..... Sorry.

In summary, my advice to you is to quit the whining. Realize your mistakes. Know that you haven't been a pleasant person, otherwise your father would have left you in his will. Or perhaps, left you "a photograph." Haha! It sounds like your sister is the one you need to start being nice too, right?

If you choose not to start being more pleasant, then I do have one last thing you can do: Start having copies made of the photographs you'd like to have, that way you won't be disappointed when other relatives leave you nothing..




P.S. Don't forget to buy "Dear Franz" the Book - now available on iTunes! Or, for your little Kindles, you buy them here on Amazon!

MY COUSIN'S WIFE IS REALLY MEAN!

Dear Franz,

Surely your family has endured a seemingly lovely gal who marries in to your family, is embraced and loved, and turns into a psycho raving monster within a year or so of the nuptials?

My cousin’s wife is this person, and her treatment of my aunt (her mother-in-law) is so awful it is painful to watch. Her most recent performance had numerous family members in tears. My aunt puts on a brave front, prays about it, and bites her tongue so she is not denied any more (ridiculously limited) time with her only grandson.

I’d like to approach my cousin with what we witnessed and basically ask him if he hasn’t the spine to keep his wife from treating his mother so badly. Any suggestions on how to phrase it a bit more politely?


O... I would love to see this!

You haven't given any details, so I can't be sure what to really think. Your cousin's wife (I guess you're a close family to care about your cousin's wife) - she may be just what the doctor ordered. Perhaps your cousin is having the time of his life watching this. Have you ever given that a thought? Perhaps his wife is saying things that should have been said for years and years and years! This could be a joy for him - something that you shouldn't want to take away.

One big thing is - you really don't know how your aunt treated her family in private - so minding your own business could be another option.

But your cousin's wife seems like a really fun person - why not invite her to lunch and get the gory details yourself? That sounds like a lot more fun then trying to stir things up with your cousin. Make sure to pretend that you're on her side. It may give you a lot of insight to the situation. Perhaps you'll see things from a different point of view.

But be careful if you invite this woman out for lunch! It sounds like she's pretty witty - so be prepared and have some zingers of your own prepared in case she insults you.

In any case - good luck. And have fun learning more about your family!


And don't forget about there's more advice in my eBook - available today on Amazon.com!

Leave Child Rearing to Professionals

Dear Franz,

What if two people work great as partners but not as co-parents? My husband and I have a fantastic relationship that goes back 15 years, but we cannot seem to get it together when it comes to parenting our 10-year-old son, “Ethan.” We disagree on everything from where Ethan should go to school, to whether it’s OK to spank Ethan (lightly), to how much fast food Ethan can consume in a month before we’re bad parents. Worse, we feel equally strongly about our opposite viewpoints on just about everything, so nearly once a week we have these knock-down, drag-out fights that lead nowhere, and the choices ultimately fall to Ethan himself. It has been suggested that we take parenting classes, but we’re both positive the classes would just confirm our personal stances. Meanwhile Ethan is stuck in a school that’s no one’s first choice, getting away with things right and left because no one wants to resort to discipline without agreeing on it first.

Wow. It sounds like someone should have been taking her birth control pills, but has forgotten! My Goodness!

Well, first let me answer your questions:

1. Boarding School
2. Why would one not spank a child? I don't understand you.
3. Don't ever eat fast food. Never.

Why are those things hard to agree on? I don't understand. You and your spouse have been having all these problems, and it took me barely two seconds to come up with a solution. I truly believe I would make the best parent. Perhaps I should consider adoption. I guess nowadays Japan is the place to adopt, which is good, because I do think Japanese children are precious. Was Japan even on my last "Top 10 Hot Adoption Spots"? I don't know. (I think I need to update that list!)

But Reader, your first step is Boarding School. I know that many people who've chosen to bring pregnancies to term, nowadays tend to want to "Raise their children at home". When did that become the thing to do? Hold the line! Are people so bored nowadays that they feel they have to watch their own children and put them to bed every single night? Play games together? I have to think that that level of boredom may require some kind of psychological help. But alas, to each his own. Which brings me back to Boarding School. Here most of your problems are solved in one fell swoop, and you and your husband can finally get your lives back; start living again....Won't that be a sigh of relief? I know it will be.

As far as the other times when you must be together as a family. Please don't fret. Agree to let the child do what he or she wants. Know that the discipline and the education belongs to the professionals and the help. I know that's the way I was raised. And even though I wasn't given everything that I wanted as a child, I would say that part of what makes me me! And who am I? Someone that many, many people would like to be. I tell you!