Goodbye, Magnolia...

Wow. That was fast.

I had to let Magnolia go. When I first got her, I thought, "Hey. This will be great. She will keep me entertained, bla bla bla... I will have so many amusing and wonderful stories to tell.. bla bla bla..."

But I have to admit, that this woman was just.. well, a bitch.

I understand that I am famous for my "Unglück" with help, but this is just ridiculous.

I remember, as a little boy, reading that one day we will all have robots for servants. I dreamed of the day when my first one would glide through my doors. But what is it now? 2010? If ever I needed a robot, it would be now. I don't understand it: What are all the scientists doing with their time? I believe my taxes pay for them, don't they? Not only that, but in about seven different countries where I am resident!

I cannot be that difficult to get along with. There is just no way.

I have never hit a servant. I've seen Princess Letizia of Spain hit hers several times - yet she says they're like siblings to her...? (Sorry if that's personal Letizia) I want that.

Maybe because I'm not a Princess? I don't know. I cannot help it if the Holy Roman Empire was dissolved. I wasn't there. It was not my doing. I don't have a time machine to go back and change that. (All my money to the scientist who can help me with that one.)

So what happened with Magnolia? She told me that I "have issues." I made a racial comment, which, perhaps I regret (It was supposed to be funny). She threatened to sue me and I went through my same old routine.. I sighed, and then I showed her the confidentiality statement she signed that included a clause where she COULDN'T sue me, and I told her to call my office for a plane ticket home.

AND then I did something I almost rarely do: I got choked up. I almost had a tear in my eye. I could feel it coming and I thought "Come on! Come on!"... (I wanted to experience it).. But it never came. It felt like it almost did, which I thought was an emotional and physiological breakthrough. Afterwards I became angry that I couldn't cry. Perhaps violent. I don't know because I blacked out after throwing something - something Limoges - against my reflection in a mirror. I feel awful about that - As I really adore Limoges.

However. This is what I decided. I will go - for the time being. I don't know what "the time being" is. But I will go WITHOUT help. I am going to do everything! I will shop! I will cook! I will wake myself up! I will do everything. Everything except clean! And I will do it with grace and dignity.

...In the meantime. Stay tuned for more advice, and recipes. I forgot I wanted to include recipes. And keep the questions coming! I had so many good ones printed out - but that was when I had that Japanese boy and he lost just about everything.